It’s a little past the spooky season at this point, but fear stops for no one. Just ask the creators of the horror movie “Thanksgiving” (2023), or the minds behind “Krampus” (2015), the Christmas-themed horror film that I had the pleasure of watching at nine-years-old when it was released.
“Krampus” (2015) was the last movie that gave me a good fright, and as a horror fan, that dissapoints me. Now, I’m not sure if that’s due to me aging out of cheap jumpscares and mentally fortifying myself against psychological horror and suspense, or if scary movies are just boring, bland and tasteless nowadays. But, if you believe horror as a whole is dying, allow me to speak to your soul.
Horror, to put it plainly, is just a novelty at this point. It served as a great gimmick in the moment, but now we just look back on it and either laugh or just think about how good it was. It’s like an old meme that some people still reference to this day, like “road work ahead.”
While there isn’t anything wrong with horror becoming nostalgic, it ruins any chance for future improvement within the genre. Alongside the fact that people grow out of their fears, this leaves horror in an unsustainable gray area. An area that intrigues children, but adults find stupid. However, this doesn’t mean the genre is finished.
Two pieces have been released this fall and have been receiving rave reviews. The first is a video game: “Mouthwashing.” The second is a movie, “The Substance.”
So, What’s New?
“Mouthwashing” is an artistic piece set in space with an engaging story. It especially grips you in the latter half. Once everything sets in, you almost wince a bit. It’s not an easy story to handle, but it is beautiful if you understand it.
As for “The Substance,” it immerses you differently. Yes, you’re experiencing a story, but you’re contemplating your own. You’re more than likely to find yourself relating to a lot going on in the movie. It’s not an easy watch for anyone with a weak stomach, but if you want something to make you think, this movie is the one.
I’m in love with horror media and the idea of my fears being exploited. I’m just not nine-years-old anymore, so horror gets a little bland for me. Fortunately, I was lucky enough to witness the release of “Alien: Romulus,” the movie that recently made me feel like a child again. Not because it was terrifying, but because it was an amazing watch. It combines three of my favorite topics: horror, space and basketball. Yes, basketball.
I was delighted to find out that the Xenomorph in the final fight of the movie was a former standout basketball prospect, Robert Bobroczyki. If that name is slightly familiar, he played basketball with NBA star LaMelo Ball at Spire Institute. Who would’ve thought that every part of my childhood would show up in a horror movie? I think it was a fantastic casting and the best horror movie released in recent history. It’s a must-watch for all horror fans alike. Although, it’s not the same as it used to be.
What About The Old Stuff?
In what feels like archaic history at this point, there was once high demand for horror movies with a gritty, cold-blooded antagonist.
This period, which I deem the slasher era, produced some absolutely cinematic marvels: “Friday the 13th” (1980), “Alien” (1979), “A Nightmare on Elm Street” (1984) and plenty more. These movies were insanely important. In fact, so impactful that we got to see a Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees crossover. In superhero terms, we witnessed Batman and Spider-Man go toe to toe in battle.
Of course, I wasn’t born when these movies were released, but their cultural impact lives on. For example, I grew up watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – I had action figures and all. A character across the series named Casey Jones wields a hockey stick and conceals his face with a hockey mask, of course, just like Jason does.
I also love space dearly. I have a handmade doll of Neil Armstrong that was a 2nd-grade project – perhaps Neil Armstrong has seen a Xenomorph with his own two eyes.
In my hometown Plano in Texas, there’s an Elm Street that I pass way too often. But, none of those experiences compare to what’s regarded as one of, if not the best horror movie ever.
Released in 1974, “The Texas Chain Saw Massacre” rattled homes all across the world. When I watched it for the first time, it definitely rattled my brain a little. Preteen me could’ve sworn everything showcased in the movie was real. The movie has changed my perspective so much that anytime I hear ‘Texas’ I actually hear ‘home, chainsaw massacre and unnecessary heat.’ Just to reiterate this, the movie was released 32 years before I was born – it is simply that life-changing.
Nowadays, they aren’t making greats like they did 50 years ago. If I try to find something new to watch, I’m subject to torture disguised as good movie franchises. In less nuanced terms, I’m forced to watch movies like “Terrifier” (2016), “Terrifier 2” (2022) and “Terrifier 3” (2024). Sorry to all the Art the Clown lovers out there, but he’s just not Leatherface, Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees – I don’t even think Freddy Krueger is scary, but him too – Chucky or even “Kane” from the WWE (Yes, he stars in a horror movie).
I’d much rather watch former WWE wrestler and current Mayor of Knox County, Tennessee, Glenn Thomas “Kane” Jacobs wear a red mask than watch the third iteration of the same clown horror movie.
In defense of Art the Clown, the main antagonist of the Terrifier series, we’ve all experienced the terrifying clown craze at some point, it’s just oversaturated now. Just as using the same tired clown mascot as a horror idea gets old, how much more of the boogeyman wearing a mechanic outfit can we take until we die of boredom?
Personally, any more movies past “Halloween Ends” in 2022, and I would’ve put Michael Myers out of commission myself. At the same time, I have to ask myself if I’d rather witness Rob Zombie get a third Halloween installment, or if I want to go to theaters to witness a rehash of the same formula I’ve been experiencing for 18 years.
Be Grateful for What You’ve Got
While horror may seem a bit bland now, it’ll only get blander as we get older. Soon enough, the next horror movie that will actually scare me will be about bills and clocking in. I’m already getting goosebumps.
Thankfully, I don’t have to worry about watching a movie with that much horrific “substance.”
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