Opinion: Fighting My First-Year Fears, Visiting Intimidating Places on Campus

A girl wearing shirts and a long sleeve black shirt sits against a tall bookshelf, holding a book up in her outstretched left arm. Surrounding the girl on both sides are sprawled out books with their pages open. — The author, Brighton sophomore Lizzy Kelley sits in the middle of two bookshelves on the lower floor of Mudd. Kelley has avoided the Mudd side of the library in the past, only visiting it three times in her two years at Albion (Photo illustration by Lizzy Kelley).

As a person who struggles with severe anxiety when it comes to change, coming to Albion felt safe.

Once I arrived on campus, I began to find spaces that I was comfortable visiting: the Dow, Baldwin, the KC and the Pleiad office. Outside of these few places, I stuck to the buildings I had classes in, and avoided everywhere else on campus like my life depended on it.

Though Albion’s campus is very open and welcoming, the prospect of having to learn the layout and visit unfamiliar places scared me a lot as a first-year. Now, as a sophomore, I’ve learned that I will eventually have to go outside my comfort zone and check out new spots.

A hightop table and three chairs sit alone on the left side of the photo, while on the other side of a structural pillar sits a table with students sitting across from one another. — On the Mudd side of the library, a line of tables stretches down the center of the basement, positioned between the bookshelves. From this spot, anyone sitting there can see all corners of the space, as well as anyone can see them (Photo by Lizzy Kelley).

The Mudd Side of the Library

The first place I checked off of my avoidance list was the Mudd side of the library. Though I have been there a handful of times to drop things off, or check out a book for class, the idea of sitting in the space or spending any amount of unnecessary time there felt like too much for me to handle.

This side of the library has a lot more tables out in the open, which freaked me out because it felt like people could see me from all different angles, while I couldn’t see them.

I decided to do something that felt comfortable in the space: I took photos and sat down with my computer for a while. The concept of doing something familiar in an unfamiliar space made the space feel more welcoming and less scary. I plan on coming back if I need a place to study for exams.

A girl lies on a line at the center of a purple and tan basketball court. She has her hands laying on top of her stomach, knees bent up, and a backpack propping up her head. She faces towards the ceiling in the room. — Kelley lays at center court in the Kresge Gymnasium, leaned against her backpack. Kelley spent time goofing off and exploring the space to make it feel like a place she could revisit in the future (Photo illustration by Gabriela Popa).

Kresge Gymnasium

I had only been to the basketball court once, to take a photo and leave. I know that many sports teams play their matches/games in the space, and all students are invited to attend them, but I haven’t felt welcome to the building outside of those sporting events.

The building is, for the most part, always unlocked and all students are allowed in. I spent time snooping around the space, just to see where students had the ability to enter and where we could not.

After spending time dancing, singing and laying on the court, the space feels more welcoming. In the future I feel that this is a place I can take my friends to as a place outside our dorm, where there is open space to do whatever you want, even when it’s cold outside.

Counseling Services

During my first year at Albion, the counseling services building did not feel like a part of campus.

The idea of walking into the wrong building was one of the main reasons I feared the counseling services office. The building where the old office was located felt so out of the realm of a college service building that I couldn’t even point out where it was.

Now that the office has been moved into its new location in Ferguson, I feel like if there’s ever a need to go, that I am welcome, and that the office is somewhere that I would not embarrass myself trying to find.

An open door leading to back offices with a glass wall just to the left. Standing beside the glass wall is a girl smiling and holding her hands up, gesturing towards the open door. — Kelley stands next to the open door of the Athletic Director’s office in the Dow. Though the Dow is a familiar place for Kelley, the office feels foreign and inaccessible (Photo illustration by Gabriela Popa).

The Athletic Director’s Offices

Though I have sat just around the corner from this office for the last two years, just the thought of entering intimidates me. Because I am not a student athlete, I feel like the office is off limits and somewhere that only athletes can go.

The people who work within the office are very nice people, but the concept of entering an office with “athletic” in the name and not being a collegiate athlete makes me skeptical to enter. I feel that even though I could go in and just chat with the athletic directors, that the threshold of the door can only be crossed by athletes or coaches. I still haven’t gotten to the point where I can walk into the office without feeling uneasy, but I am working toward it.

The Ludington Center

A girl wearing black shorts and a gray zip-up stands under an awning with gold letters reading “Ludington Center.” The building behind her has open windows on both sides of the door where warm light can be seen on the other side of them. — Kelley stands in front of the Ludington Center after having a friend help her find the building for the first time. She could not get into the building to explore, but Kelley can now say she has found it (Photo by Gabriela Popa).

Since coming here, I’ve heard people talking about taking classes in a building in downtown Albion. I have since avoided taking any classes that may end up being taught in this building.

Though the Ludington Center is only a few minutes away from campus, the idea of having classes in a random downtown building is not for me. I had to ask a friend to take me to the Ludington Center because the thought of having to find it – and risking mistaking a different building for it – made my skin crawl. I can say after visiting that the building wasn’t that hard to find, but I will still not be taking anything that causes me to have to come here for class.

The Gist

The best step I took toward overcoming, or working towards, conquering my fears was going to these places and doing something I’m familiar with, like studying. Although I’m still a little skeptical of going to these places regularly, getting to know them has made me feel confident I can come back and explore them more.