(Part of The Plebian: April Fool’s Edition)
Much to the surprise of Gotham City and Albion residents, Batman has agreed to come to Albion College to give a guest lecture on the nuanced differences between deductive and inductive reasoning. The lecture time and location have yet to be announced due to “obvious security concerns,” Justice Legue’s public relations manager, Cyborg, said.
“I’m not looking forward to a night without Batman. I think a lot of crooks and the like are gonna have a ball knowing he’s not around to catch ’em,” Gotham City Police Commissioner James Gordon said. “Don’t get me wrong, I know those kids he’s training are exceptional, some even as good as him some days, but it’s not the same.”
Gotham Police Department has assured citizens that they will remain vigilant in their efforts to maintain the peace of the city in the masked vigilante’s absence.
To the surprise of many, Batman has agreed to do an additional meet and greet with the students of Albion College after the lecture. While the location of this meet and greet has also not been disclosed to the Albion student body, many have joked about meeting “under a dark bridge at night.”
At the event, Batman has assured that there will be a live Q&A with him, Nightwing, Red Robin and Oracle, who will be joining via Zoom. Also available will be a book and merchandise signing and a photo opportunity.
This event has been scheduled to be so big that it’s garnered the attention of Wayne Enterprises CEO Bruce Wayne and his son, Damian Wayne.
“I think it’s a great opportunity for Damian to talk to an important person in Gotham’s history,” Bruce Wayne said. “He’s been having trouble in his History class, and he’s got an upcoming project about an influential figure in current-day Gotham.”
Wayne said that in the unfortunate event that tragedy strikes, he will be helping pay for repairs in case something happens on campus as a result of Batman staying for a prolonged period. The Plebian asked Damian Wayne for comment, but he declined to answer any questions, stating that the butler, Alfred Pennyworth, would see us out.
“It’s good to see Master Bruce planning to leave the house for an evening,” Pennyworth said. “I sometimes worry he avoids social functions too often.”
Students are encouraged to RSVP for the lecture and meet and greet on the Corq App before April 1 so Batman can properly pick a location for the event.