(Part of The Plebian: April Fool’s Edition)
Union Board has finally announced the comedian performing at the 2022 Big Show. The comedian is an up-and-comer who goes by the stage name Matty Jay.
We have to admit, the guy looks strangely familiar.
The Pleiad had an opportunity to speak ahead of his April performance with Matty Jay, who insisted on the proper spelling of his stage name.
“It’s M-A–T-T-Y, with two t’s,” said Jay. “That’s really important.”
The choice for the relatively unknown comedian has brought backlash from some students. Big Show is traditionally known for inviting well-known performers to campus, so the decision to host Matty Jay has some stupefied.
The comedian was chosen for a reason, according to Union Board Commander-in-Chief, Brit Briton.
“The Board of Trustees was really insistent that we hire this guy,” said Briton. “I don’t really understand it, but they threatened to cut our funding if we didn’t, so that’s how that happened.”
According to various sources, Jay has been out of work since the Christmas season of last year. This has led some to believe that Jay is some form of holiday performer.
“Yeah,” said Jay. “Something like that.”
The comedian looks familiar, according to some students and faculty. Jay vehemently denied any previous involvement with the college.
“I’ve never been here before,” said Jay. “Who asked you that? Why do they care? I’ve never been here. Make sure you write that down.”
As a part of his discussion with the Pleiad, Jay offered to preview some of his material.
“What’s the deal with institutional bureaucracy? I mean you got resources here, resources there, they should just put them all in one building,” said Jay.
After no one in the room laughed at his set, Jay made an off-hand comment that the situation was similar to the January 6 insurrection at the Capitol.
Jay is excited about the performance, but has some beliefs about what Albion could be doing better.
“Campus could use some more goats,” he said. “Maybe even do something with the Washington Gardner building. Or something.”