Plebian: Aliens Transmit Message Through Shoes

Two pairs of shoes that hang on a phone line near Hannah Street. Theories suggest they are being used as alien phone (Photo by Madison Wycoff).

(Part of The Plebian: April Fool’s Edition)

On March 21, numerous Albion College students started to notice two particular pairs of shoes. The shoes in question were hanging from a phone line1 heading down the block between Baldwin Hall and The Dow Recreation and Wellness Center. 

Seemingly the shoes appeared overnight and questions of aliens are starting to float around. Everyone who has seen the shoes has started speaking in a coded language for minutes at a time. 

It starts randomly and ends as quickly as it came. Only mere seconds later, the students forget what they were saying, like it never happened. There is speculation that there is a message in coded language.

“01001000 01100001 01110000 01110000 01111001,” said Anon.

“01000001 01110000 01110010 01101001 01101100,” said Punley.

 “01000110 01101111 01101111 01101100 00100111 01110011,” said Rei. 

“01000100 01100001 01111001,” said Nike. 

These are quotes that have been managed to be gathered. The coded language has yet to be decoded. 

Many experts have tried cracking the new language. None have had any luck. The code appears to be too tricky for even Harvard graduates. Not even the top of the line paranormal investigators can explain how the shoes can transmit a message into students’ minds. 

There is a working theory that shoes are working like phones. The shoes are the phones and when aliens hung up the shoes on the phone line, the shoes got connected. 

Through some alien technology, that connection goes between the sight of the shoes and the students’ brains. Once that connection is made, the student speaks it, like coming out from the other side of a phone. The student is the other phone in this theory. There’s no explanation still why the students forgot right afterwards. The best theory so far is convenience. 

Many questions are still unanswered. With the code uncracked, no one knows what the aliens want. 

The aliens can be hostile. The alien can be peaceful. The alien can be a mix of both. Considering how unbreakable this code is, humans of Earth may never know. 

College students will do anything because…why not! Why not try to break the code, students of Albion College! You might have been one of the students infected with one of these messages and forgot about it! Figure out the alien motives! Break the code!

About Madison Wycoff 3 Articles
Madison Wycoff is a sophmore at Albion College from Kalamazoo, MI. She is a English major and Theater minor. She helped in turning a dragon into a vampire dragon in a Pathfinder campaign.

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