Digory Dorset, professor of political science, expressed disappointment in class on Monday on the lack good political scandals on campus since the Email Scandal of 2017.
“Creating tension in class by forcing students to take sides on such a polarizing matter really fosters a great learning environment,” Schoon said. “Without this forced awkwardness, students feel too comfortable in class and even get along with each other.”
Sophomore Janey Mulaney agrees that her classes have been boring since students have lived scandal-free for several months now.
“I don’t even have a debate about who the snowflakes really are in society to get me through a two-hour lecture anymore,” Mulaney said. “I’ve also been having minor disagreements with my roommate all month, and I don’t even have a good excuse to take things to the next level by attacking her political ideology and who she is as a person.”
Dorset is looking forward to next fall’s elections and is hopeful students, and even faculty, will embrace saying as many politically incorrect things as they possibly can.
“I’m not even going to put anything in the syllabus in the weeks leading up to the election,” Dorset said. “I’m sure some ingenious student will provide me with the perfect material to analyze in class.”
Dorset was last seen chasing down administrators to talk to them about the merits of using “Reply All” in email chains.