Free Tuition Slip To Be Hidden In Easter Egg Hunt

(Part of the Plebian — April Fools’ Edition)

Easter egg hunts are great fun. Not only is it a blast to spend 10 minutes finding the eggs and 30 more minutes trying to locate where your uncle hid that last one, there’s often a great goody inside each, too. There could be an off-brand Crunch Bar-like chocolate. There could be a dime or a quarter to add to your residence hall vending machine ration. But a slip for free tuition?

On Monday, April 2, Albion College will reawaken its Methodist upbringing and host its first annual egg hunt for an Easter celebration, hosted by Student Senate. Over 200 eggs will be sprinkled around the Quad, and one will contain a slip for free tuition for the upcoming academic year. Find it by sundown, and the only payment needed to attend Albion College is $12,000 for room and board.

Adding a free tuition slip was not thought of in the egg hunt’s initial planning stages. A stipend worth the amount of tuition for the next academic year was set to be awarded to a student in need who demonstrated commitment towards the Albion community, but Mr. Planters Peanut, Director of Financial Aid, saw an opportunity.

“I thought, ‘Why should we be leaving out the students whose parents pay for their college education?’” said Peanut. “That doesn’t seem very fair to me.”

So, Peanut pitched the idea of a free tuition slip as a part of the egg hunt. The addition, he said, serves two purposes. First, more students would participate in the event. Second, it will up the ante for needy students to spend all day in an agonized, frantic state trying to find that one piece of paper that would knock off a couple thousand off their tens of thousands of dollars in debt and give them a financial buffer in the case that they fail that Philosophy 101 exam.

Spaulding Smails, a sophomore from Grosse Pointe, Michigan, was thrilled to think he had a shot at winning free tuition.

“It would mean a lot,” he said. “My parents’ dual-income and college education fund only go so far.”

The plastic egg containing the free tuition slip will be gold. The rest will be purple. Some of the treats inside will be delicious, like pieces of Bonta Admissions Center cookies. Others will contain duds, like leftover cottage cheese cups from the Eat Shop and all the runny scrambled eggs at Baldwin Cafe.

Photo by Beau Brockett Jr.

About Beau Brockett Jr. 57 Articles
When free of homework, this third-year managing editor from Richmond, Michigan, can usually be spotted on campus running with his cross country teammates or listening to Hippo Campus, the band of his generation.

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


*