April Fool’s: Albion to Merge Sports with Oxford University

Before Albion College’s sports teams compete for an MIAA championship, manytravel across the country to compete against some of the best Division III teams. Although student-athletes love the trips, the athletic department wanted to expand to two continents and compete internationally. Starting in 2018, Albion College will merge with Oxford University (Oxford, England, UK) to compete in sports such as American football, soccer, underwater basketweaving, marbles and woolsack races.

“We felt it was necessary to expand the Brits’ sports teams to other parts of the world,” said Albion Athletic Director Champ Aine said. “Oxford is one of the top schools in the world, and connecting with them will only benefit the Albion College and its athletic programs.”

For two weeks over winter break, athletes from Albion will fly to Oxford to compete against schools such as the University of Cambridge, Edinburgh College, University of Glasgow and the University of London. Once those games are concluded, players from Oxford will fly back with Albion’s student-athletes to compete against MIAA rivals like Adrian College, Hope College and Kalamazoo College.

“It’s going to be awesome to go to England for a couple of weeks,” said Kim Possible, a sophomore women’s lacrosse player. “I’m pumped to play with their team.”

Other MIAA schools are up in arms at the situation. Many schools felt that Albion shouldn’t represent as an underwater basketweaving competitor because of their “lack of weaving skills”. Even though the NCAA took the comments into consideration, they hoped the merging would “create an international collegiate scene that other teams will soon follow up on.”

Before the merger was agreed upon, Oxford and its representatives agreed to take the Brits mascot with open arms.

“The Brits have a long history of an amazing sports program,” said Justin Tyme, an athletic representative of Oxford. “I think everyone is excited because of this opportunity.”

Competition will begin on December 11, 2018, when the Albion-Oxford Brits take on the University of Cambridge in a woolsack race at Wembley Stadium in London.

(Part of the Plebian — April Fools edition).

About Steven Marowski 87 Articles
Steven Marowski is a senior from Farmington Hills, Michigan, and is a professional writing and philosophy double major. Steve loves to talk sports, preferably baseball and hockey, and owns over 140 different hats. Follow him on Twitter at @Steve_Marowski

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.