My First Time

Albion to Jackson on I-94 is a typical road trip for most students. We find many of our home comforts like Olive Garden, Meijer, Target, Ulta, and Starbucks.

Somewhere between Albion and Jackson is the Lion’s Den Superstore, with a sign large enough for Jesus to see from heaven and a parking lot that could hold Confession for a Big Ten School after Thirsty Thursday.

The building itself is welcoming enough to spark curiosity, but I pledged early freshman year to never act on it because after all, curiosity killed the cat. That was until a few weeks ago when we had an editor’s meeting for our Valentine’s Day Edition, and I left with a pitch that required a visit to the store I planned on staying very far from.

After recruiting a friend to accompany me on my adventure, I realized my only availability was at 9 a.m. on a Thursday, but to my surprise the superstore opened at 8 a.m.

What made it a superstore anyways?

Upon our arrival, I was immediately taken back by the parking lot because it had no lines to park. As we walked up, I carefully pulled out my ID, opened the door and realized I was in a large hallway that had another entrance waiting.  As I opened the second door and ducked my head in, the bright room and the friendly woman who greeted us at the counter surprised me. She checked our IDs and asked if we were looking for anything specific.

I smiled and politely told the woman I was just looking as my friend laughed, sensing how uncomfortable the simple question made me feel.

As I walked around the store I was pleasantly surprised about how clean and welcoming it was. It had a strange way of making a wall decorated with dildos look welcoming even for the most innocent of souls.

Much of the store was set up similar to the electronic section at Target, but unlike Target, the Lion’s Den’s items on display were charged and ready for the customer to pick up and feel out. As I picked up a vibrator, I was startled watching it move in different directions. My initial reaction was to make it stop, but the power button simply made it move in a different direction. As I desperately looked at my friend for help, she laughed and recommended holding the power button down.

As I worked my way around the store, I found myself laughing at their large penis themed Bachelorette section. They had a variety of blowup games, dick water bottles and even colorful dick leis for the bride to be.

They had a large variety of lingerie (naughty and nice), movies with multiple editions, magazines, and toys that would fill all needs.

I found my way back to the beginning of the store, and I could not help but wonder how an individual ends up working at the Lion’s Den Superstore.

“I love my job. I will be doing this when I am 90-years-old,” said Takara, manager and mother of five. “It is nice because I get to make my own hours and I do not miss games and practices.”

As we walked out the doors, I was surprised by how welcoming the store was, from the bright yellow walls to Takara greeting us at the front door. There were not any creepy people or dungeons like I anticipated. There large variety of toys and clothing makes it a perfect stop for a white elephant gift or panty exchange.

Photo by Emily Miller

About Morgan Garmo 23 Articles
Morgan is a senior from West Bloomfield, Michigan, majoring in finance and professional writing. She is currently the Director of Strategic Planning for a non-profit called Fleece & Thank You, which provides pediatric inpatients with no-sew fleece blankets. She is on the strategy team for the non-profit Give Young, which strives to help the millennial generation learn about different non-profits. Morgan is also a yoga teacher.

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