After much discussion and speculation, the Baldwin Cafe at Albion College has developed a new contract with Bon Appetit management company in which all the food selections will be vegan.
“It seemed like a very natural decision,” says Lane Showers, a representative for Albion College dining services. “We wanted to make a change that would lettuce really benefit Albion as a whole.”
Veganism, for those unaware, is a practice in which one’s diet is strictly based around natural products. Those who are vegans usually refuse to any sort of animal-derived products like meat, eggs, and dairy. In the case of Albion, students have shockingly started to consume the vast amounts of squirrels that wander the campus. A few sources have even confirmed that a cook from an unnamed fraternity was often having “squirrel cook-off” nights for the brothers of the house.
Showers spoke out on this issue. “It had to end, and we firmly believe that this new dining hall service will the veganinng of something new and fresh.”
While Showers thoroughly understands the repercussions that may result from the new change, but he also stands with it, citing the advantages from it.
“Veganism truly provides peas on earth. What better to dry the alcohol out of a college student than with some swiss chard and a side of chickpeas and couscous!”
The change is set to be implemented on April 15th, and will continue into the fall semester. Although the results of this change are yet to be seen, it is definitely safe to say that the new vegan cafe will turnip opinions on Albion’s campus.
Photo by Alex Carey
(Part of “The Plebian”—April Fools Edition)