Step to power: students demand stegosaurus in Science Center

A recent student satisfaction survey conducted by Albion College’s department of Residential Life found that students were unhappy with a few aspects of Albion life; namely, the supply of dinosaur skeletons available for perusal in the science center.

Reslife officials summed up the contents of the report to The Plebian: “The students have spoken, and they want a stegosaurus skeleton. It was the number one concern among Albion students who took the survey.”

The science center currently contains a complete Pterodactyl skeleton, a massive triceratops skull, and the skull of an allosaurus, a late Jurassic predator similar to the T. Rex.

However, students have grown bored of these prehistoric nightmare-creatures, and are demanding the College satisfy their need for ancient oddities. A student surveyed spoke to the Plebian on the condition of anonymity:

“I mean, I like the triceratops and all, and it’s fun to imagine it impaling some sucker carnivore who tried to step to it. But Stegosaurus had a SPINE OF ARMOR PLATING. How fucking cool is that?”

Critics of stegos say that their small brain size should disqualify them from placement at an institution of higher learning, and that the dino herbivore market is already saturated at Albion due to the presence of the triceratops.

An open forum on the topic is scheduled for 4:20 P.M. on Monday, April 20th in the Nature Center.

Full disclosure: it is the opinion of the Plebian’s editorial board that it is imperative the College corner the market on stegosauri.

About Spencer White 57 Articles
Spencer White is a senior from Commerce, Michigan. He's dedicated to squeezing every last bit of journalism he can out of Albion College.

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