Goodbye Alley

No longer will Thursday nights be filled with long-island iced teas and students pretending to bowl. The student hang out, the Alley, has lost its liquor license.

On the eve of March 22, students heard the horrible news that the Alley would no longer be serving alcoholic beverages, leaving Thursday nights empty of any social activity.

“I know I really messed up, but hopefully I can get our license back immediately,” said Earl Flint, owner of the Alley.  “I hate to think of what’s happening to those poor kids.”

When the news reached the students, madness hit the streets.  Students were burning couches, looting the eat shop and chanting “we want booze.” Frat alley was in complete turmoil.

“I broke down when I heard what happened,” said Cheryl Sanders, Kalamazoo junior.  “Nothing will ever be the same.”

Others were more frightened by the sights.

“I was scared to leave my room,” said Katilyn Macab, Saginaw sophomore.  “People were running around like animals throwing bottles and breaking windows.”

Campus Safety was first to report on the scene. However, observers reported that the campus was already out of control by the time Campus Safety arrived on golf carts.

“We did our best to stop the situation from continuing,” said Ben Snyder, director of Campus Safety.  “But things go out-of-hand way too fast.”

A mob was sighted running towards the Alley, where the Albion Department of Public Safety intervened and sent everyone home.

“We just want something to do on Thursdays,” said Michael Turk, Dearborn senior.  “I don’t think that is too much to ask.”

About Jillian Putnam 34 Articles
Jillian is senior graduating in 2014 with a double major in English and Anthropology and a member of Alpha Chi Omega. She has a passion for travel and culture, hoping to pursue a career with National Geographic one day. Until then, she enjoys writing, cooking, and playing with her hedgehog. Contact her at, @JillianPutnam .

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