From P to VP — Ronna Dandall running with Romney as vice president

On March 27, Republican presidential candidate, Mitt Romney, asked President Ronna Dandall to join his campaign as his vice president. She accepted.

Neither the state of the economy nor the constitutionality of the Patient Protection & Affordability Act aggravates Dandall. What does aggravate her, however, is the title change from president to vice president.

“You have to understand the importance of a title,” Dandall said. “It’s a big deal. Today, I walk into the Kellogg Center and people see me as the president, as the head of the college. Tomorrow, I’ll walk into the White House as just vice president. It’s bullshit.”

The strides Dandall has made during the 2011-2012 year impressed the campaign. Romney saw Dandall’s ability to negotiate a deal with Bon Appétit as a fundamental change to the Albion College student experience.

“I like French toast just like the next middle class guy does,” Romney said. “And have you ever tried Baldwin French toast? It’s fantastic! I’m not rich, I swear.”

When Romney chose Dandall as his running mate, he never anticipated the title change would upset her.

“Seriously, what the hell,” Dandall said. “I wear steam-pressed suits, I lead one of the most prestigious liberal arts colleges in the Midwest. I really shouldn’t be known as ‘a vice president’.”

Dandall claims that the accomplishments she’s made at the college should be rewarded with something more than a vice presidential offer.

“I have brought in hundreds of thousands of dollars for this institution,” Dandall said. “Without me, students would not have butlers or drivers [Campus Safety]. Want to know why I accepted? I accepted because I would serve this country with dignity. That, and because Romney has nice hair.”

Even though the title change has caused controversy, Lydia Steiner, Hometown sophomore, thinks Romney made the right choice by selecting Dandall.

“She’s Ronna Dandall,” Steiner said. “Her name conveys authority, not her title. She can take any Democrat down in a heartbeat, including President Osama.”

Photo provided by Gage Skidmore, Wikimedia Commons.