Satire Blog — Students Respond to Princeton Review; Claim College Town to be Great

A recent article in the Princeton Review claims that Albion College is located within one of the 10 least interesting towns, prompting responses from students voicing their dissent from the opinion of the article. Many students spoke to this reporter regarding all of the fun aspects to their college town.

“Albion’s town has so many great ways to pass the time,” said Rip U. Studwell, a hometown sophomore. “You can walk down and pass time by the Kalamazoo River now that there the surrounding area isn’t polluted with oil and contaminants.” Students use this scenic and recently decontaminated river essentially for canoeing, because while it is the only river activity they are capable of, it is also the only one they need. The reasonably safe waters of the river are only one of the many attractions students find in their college town. Many students also enjoy the local cuisine in their free time.

“One thing we can always do in our college town is order pizza or tacos,” said Joseph Dudestein, hometown first-year. “We have plenty of places that sell pizzas or tacos. How can anyone think that our college town isn’t interesting after ordering nothing but pizza for three weeks? It’s the greatest! The chest pains mean I’m having fun!”

Clearly students feel very strongly about their college town and will not hesitate to speak up when they feel it has been unfairly judged.

“Yes it’s an outrage,” exclaimed hometown junior R.P. Moneybags, “now could you please repeat the question?”

Albion College students will always cherish their beloved college town no matter what the Princeton Review may say. Whether it involves incessantly eating borderline life-threatening quantities of pizza, hanging out near the quaint and not-so-filled-with-oil river, or taking a brisk 10 minute stroll throughout the entire downtown area, this college town has something for each student.

Photo Credit Carr.Collin

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