Taylor Slow, Bad Axe first-year applied to only one school, Albion. She had no other option.
“My parents saw that Albion had a new program called the Albion advantage, and since they knew I wasn’t going to get a job they said that they would only pay for me to go to Albion,” Slow said. “That way, I can just stay in Albion, take classes and stay here for the rest of my life.”
The Albion Advantage guarantees employment after graduation. If a student cannot find a job, the student can also continue taking classes at Albion.
Eligibility for the Albion Advantage begins with the class of 2014. Students are required to maintain a 3.0 grade point average and complete a number of internships, among other requirements.
“That’s really what the Albion Advantage is for,” said President Ronna Dandall. “Some people are never going to get job, so they can stay here to avoid ending up on the streets of Albion.”
Des Wick, academic advisor to Slow and history department chair, agrees that Slow will never find a job.
“It’s difficult to have an actual conversation with her and her grade point average is nothing to write home about,” Wick said. “Thankfully the college created the new program, so people like Loser can stay at Albion for the rest of their lives and at least do something– which in her case, would be continuing to fail history of basket-weaving courses.”
Besides continuing classes at Albion, the Albion Advantage also offers students to get a job.
“I’m really excited to start a serfdom program,” Dandall said. “I’ve always had trouble finding a good butler.”
Employment opportunities for the serfdom program include apprenticeships with the grounds department, tending to the the student-run farm and blacksmithing for the jousting club.
“I came for the Albion Advantage because of the new jousting program they’re initiating,” said Emma Combat, Middleville first-year. “I don’t know of any other school that has the Albion Advantage, so the jousting program really sold me.”