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Satire Blog: Clock tower to go digital

With the success of the newly renovated Baldwin, the college announced last week plans for further modernizing the campus, one such plan including the William K. Stouffer Clock Tower. After only seven years of service, the [...]

Fall concert preview

Welcome to Albion, young first-year.  You have no doubt discovered the joys of going out, getting drunk and passing out on upperclassmen’s futons, and are wondering how you could ever want to do anything else at [...]

(3 of 4) An Albion summer – Interning abroad

I’ve told myself from the age of 10 or so that I’d study abroad in college. Both my parents had done some sort of trip during their years in school, and I was determined to do [...]

Satire Blog: Student reaction to Big Show

Who is Timeflies?  What is Timeflies?  Is Timeflies a person, a group of people, a recently discovered species of insect?  This reporter has absolutely no idea, and, after a thorough investigation, it has become clear that [...]

Here to stay – AC president signs huge contract

Albion College president Ronna Dandall has accepted a seven-year, $180 million dollar contract to remain with the Albion Britons through 2020 with $50 million guaranteed. The first female president of Albion College became president just under [...]

Students elated about tuition increase

Students across campus are elated about the recent announcement that the comprehensive fee to attend Albion will increase 4.6% percent for next year, bringing the total cost of one year at Albion to about $46,010.00. “I [...]

Zombies Strike Albion

On April 1, 2013, terror struck Albion College’s campus. The long-standing cadaver lab finally fell in Kresge, and, with it, came deadly results. “I don’t know what happened,” said Ned Nerd, lab technician. “I was just doing [...]

Students take caution over H2-N1 in Albion

It all happened when the squirrels came out for spring in Albion. Everyone was finally overcoming the flu and any other sickness they may have had. On Wednesday, March 27, Albion student Mris Cantay became patient [...]

Student migration leaves campus empty

Albion Students seem to have said, “I’m done,” and have all left the college to seek for warmer weather. On Mar. 26, all of the students packed up their rooms and left without a warning. It [...]

Student insurrection to retain Ronna Dandall rages

As Albion College’s 15th president, Ronna Dandall, announced that she would be stepping down as president, students poured into the streets and onto the quad as a desperate protest to retain their beloved leader ensued. The [...]