By Chris Mantay
Saturday, March 9
Thank god that car ride is finally over. Now we’re all finally in sunny [Redacted] Beach for one hell of a spring break. Paul and Jim are still passed out from that all night car ride, poor bastards. Have to hand it to them for being the only drivers, though. That had to have sucked. While they sleep, the rest of us are going to hang out with our old buddy Jack Daniel’s before [Redacted] some of the bars we heard of on [Redacted] Street.
Sunday, March 10
Holy [Redacted], what in the [Redacted] happened last night? Did we even make it to [Redacted]? All I know is I woke up in a [Redacted] covered in what had to be gallons of [Redacted]. Where did any of it even come from? Jim lost his [Redacted] and Paul [Redacted] in the sink. I suppose it must have seemed like as reasonable an idea as any at the time. We all just need to start drinking again to forget about this [Redacted] as soon as possible.
Wednesday, March 13
Holy [Redacted] on a [Redacted] sandwich with [Redacted] on top and a side order of [Redacted], I don’t remember anything from after Sunday afternoon. Is it seriously Wednesday?! What in the [Redacted] is going on here?! I just got a call from Paul, and he’s locked up in a holding cell six counties over. Six!!!! How long did it even take him to get there? Were we there? I can’t find my wallet now, and I’m really hoping it’s not [Redacted]. We just need to recover and then get the [Redacted] out of here.
Sunday, March 17
I’m so glad that nightmare of a trip is over. I can’t wait to [Redacted] and get some good old relaxation. Wait, today is St. Patrick’s Day?!!? Mother of [Hardcore Redacted].