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Headline — 30 March 2012

By Abigail Walls

The sun has at last come out from under its cold winter blanket, and the Campus Safety “egg” is ready to emerge from its winter slumber.  But don’t jump for joy yet.  The rapid approach of Easter weekend could seriously impede the so-called egg’s productivity.

Len Snyder, director of Campus Safety, believes that the electric car Albion’s Campus Safety used to shuttle students during the warmer months (nicknamed the Campus Safety Egg by many students) may be in danger of being hijacked over the holiday weekend.

Last year, the egg mysteriously went missing and was found hidden in a cluster of pine trees on the quad where students averse to sunlight—but who still want to enjoy the outdoors—typically gather.

Some unusual precautions are being taken this year in response to last year’s incident. These include deterrence procedures such as posting strongly worded memoranda from the office of President Ronna Dandall.

The only suspect on record, Synder said, was raised in a Facebook post by the Dow Climber, which indicated the Easter Bunny as the possible culprit.

“While it’s probably unlikely, we are obligated to look into every claim,” Synder said. “Albion Department of Public Safety has been notified. The Dow roof, nature center and large clusters of foliage will be guarded for nefarious activity.”

The Dow Climber declined requests for comment.

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Abigail Walls

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