By Allison Palm
I hate Taylor Swift.
“Hate” may be a strong word, but in this context, it is appropriate. Screaming teen girls across the country and the globe were probably hyperventilating as they waited in line to get their paws on her new album a few weeks ago. My question is simply, “Why?”
The main reason people love, obsess over and nearly worship Taylor is the fact that she writes her own music. Sure, go ahead and give her an award for essentially writing the same songs over and over. Swift’s tunes are about two things: bittersweet revenge on a former flame or an enchanted romance with the boy of her dreams. These are not exactly groundbreaking and original subject matter. When did mind-numbingly unoriginal become popular?
Don’t get me wrong, I probably cannot write a song as contagiously irritating as Taylor (which is not a burden), but I have a feeling I could find something a bit deeper to sing about than a grudge about an ex-boyfriend. For the record, she wrote songs about her breakup with a Jonas Brother – I don’t care which brother it was, it’s a Jonas Brother. The loss could not have been that detrimental.
Taylor should actually read the books she references in her music to avoid looking ignorant. Her lyrics to the song “Love Story” are far from uplifting and inspirational. Her “goal” of this song is to connect Romeo and Juliet to herself and her ironically undying affection for a certain someone. Compare to an actual quote from Shakespeare: “For never was a story of more woe/than this of Juliet and her Romeo.” Let me reiterate: both Romeo and Juliet died by their own hand. Suicide is not something to aspire to.
Later in the song, the lyrics are “you were Romeo/I was the Scarlet Letter.” The Scarlet Letter is about a woman who had an affair with a preacher, got pregnant, and had to wear a red letter “A” on her clothes to signify that she was an adulterous. How is the innocent Taylor anything like said character of The Scarlet Letter? She is poisoning the minds of teenage girls with incorrect literary allusions.
In her new album, she continues to convince girls to remain stuck on guys who don’t care about them. “Last kiss” is basically just a pity party for herself following a breakup. In the song, she sings about sitting on her floor, wearing her old boyfriend’s clothes and fantasizing about their last kiss. OK, I understand a little wallowing after a breakup, but holding your ex’s clothes hostage so you can wear them around and sob your eyes out is not a normal or healthy recovery strategy. One should avoid this breakup ritual; you’ll just look like a pathetic creep.
Men who are foolish enough to date Taylor should be given a forewarning: once they dump T-Swift, they should expect angry songs about them blaring on the radio and a half-empty closet.
You, Taylor Swift, may have fooled a great number of aficionados into believing your happy-go-lucky music is the greatest thing since sliced bread, but I disagree with every fiber in my body. The day you write a song that is not about some disgustingly perfect romance or a failed relationship with a Jonas Brother, maybe I will give you some respect. Until then, I will be that girl in the audience who claps when a mouthy rapper tells you off.